the edge

ithadwheels:

You open the freezer looking for some ice cream and all you find is a 500-count pack of Communion wafers.

Having loved enough and lost enough,
I’m no longer searching
just opening,

no longer trying to make sense of pain
but trying to be a soft and sturdy home
in which real things can land.

These are the irritations
that rub into a pearl.

So we can talk for a while
but then we must listen,
the way rocks listen to the sea.

And we can churn at all that goes wrong
but then we must lay all distractions
down and water every living seed.

And yes, on nights like tonight
I too feel alone. But seldom do I
face it squarely enough
to see that it’s a door
into the endless breath
that has no breather,
into the surf that human
shells call God.

-M. Nepo

maryhomegirl:

Hey, it’s more dramatic than smoke.

Director of Residential Life, Earthly Affairs
1 Golden Street
Land of Milk and Honey, CSO
Heaven 77777

Dear Sir or Madam,

As I sit here on this comfortable couch in the beautiful land of Jamaica, I cannot help but be grateful to you for all of the work you have done on my behalf over my last 23 years of earthly life. As far as home and family go, I have been blessed beyond comprehension. This, I have, especially over the last year, recognized repeatedly. My undying gratitude is due to you, and (as you know) I have on more than one occasion over the last year fallen to my knees in tearful recognition, praise, and thanks. 

From my warm Midwestern roots and away from my beautiful and hilarious sister roomie, I grew toward the East Coast and was met with the best college roommate a girl could ask for. The PERFECT companion for me, I was granted not only someone with whom to peaceably share space, but a best friend. Over the subsequent three years, I was granted more of your divine providence, and found each of my living situations exactly what I needed- full of friends, joy, and laughter. 

Of course, over these last years there were rather substantial challenges- most notably the Wally World coffee grounds, paintings, turtling, and that one evening of shouting about a supposed “stubbed toe.” The Duchesne West general challenges that I cannot include in an open letter, as it would somehow be irresponsible of me as a former employee of our own humble Office of Residence Life. Ignacio was pretty darn wonderful, and I thank you profusely for that year. 

Upon graduation and moving to the White Mountains of New Hampshire, I was open and accepting, glad for the roommates you assigned me, and for the campers in my care. As you know, I was faced with a reasonable number of challenges- most notably the “deathly” illness and near-pneumonia, Martha Longboobs and the hotels were murderers go to murder each other (although, I must say, these questionable temporary residences were shared with some of the most wonderful people I have ever met), the bike trip to try my patience and nerves, and the traverse from hell including the infamous Black Bear incident (which pretty much had NONE redeeming qualities).

Over the past 8 months, you have provided me the best companion for this leg of my journey. I am beyond grateful for the friendship, laughs, and support of my lovely roommate EmLion. We, together, have experienced a bit of a different form of community living, and you have challenged me to my wits end. While I will not go into all of the episodes of the last months (as you already know them and have carefully crafted each one to teach me new and different lessons) I trust you are taking the time to currently recall each of these situations, and noting the patient (ok come on, they were pretty patient) responses I did my best to muster. 

And so now, I come to you in prayerful supplication. There is the matter of the most lovely friend of mine, living in her own ‘ston at the moment, and doing her own version of the Big Guy’s work here on this little planet of ours. While I trust He has already shared with you my deepest desires (as He knows them beyond my own capacity of human understanding) I felt it might be helpful for me to make my request to you in my most humble MK tumblr fashion.

You see, I am sure you will recall, me running through the halls of our Walsh Suite screaming at the top of my lungs, “TAKE ME TO JAMAICA!” as I prepared for that first interview, which set all of the recent past into motion. I had no idea the adventures and life-changing experiences that were to come. But I did know what I wanted, and in my most “holy” and heartfelt (screaming, running, crying, laughing, praying) way, asked for those things.

I have found that with each step, the next becomes just a tiny bit more clear. 

Over the past months, my next step (at least my desired next step) has become abundantly clear thanks to my very loud heart and her deepest longing. I have written other letters to you (not open, of course, but you have received them, I trust). And coming soon, is yet another transition. 

You see, the loveliest Embeezlepop and I have, of all the places in the United States of ‘Murrica, carefully (and independently) whittled our lists to the SAME 2- and are both leaning in the same direction. 

And so, on this Sunday afternoon, I write to you, requesting that you please grant this one outright rooming request. Of course, you understand all of the necessary prerequisites in order for this prayer to be answered and request to be granted, and so perhaps you could point me in the direction of whom else I must contact within the Division of Earthly Affairs for these specific topics? I can include a long list of character references, now conveniently in residence within the Pearly Gated Community where you work. 

I would be happy for the opportunity for a personal interview, and am available most early mornings and late evenings.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Megan